Get Used To Disappointment - After 38 Years, I Live It, Damn It

After looking forward to finally getting my motorcycle when I get paid, I am once again forced to delay my dreams and suffer through another month of wasting money driving that fucking truck to work! It's expensive with the kind of commute I have, at least 50 miles if not more, in a big '94 extended cab with a 350 engine, no A/C and in dire need of front brakes. I've already had to replace the rear brakes, have the radiator repaired and suffer without A/C for almost 4 months now and it's getting old.

What really pisses me off is that my mother - who never offers to do anything of the sort - offered to co-sign on a car for me, of course it wasn't one the that I wanted, but she refuses to co-sign for me on the motorcycle - simply because she doesn't like the idea of me driving one. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize this was about what you wanted mom. Pardon me. The shitty thing is she thinks that just because she has to suffer, everyone else should too - especially me.

I tried talking to her about my frustration or at least voice it to her - maybe get some sympathy, empathy - anything! But as always, she just retorted about all her financial issues completely ignoring what I said and didn't even bother to fucking to comment on anything I said - nothing, nada, zilch.

And that's just what I'm left with for another fucking month - nothing, nada, zilch

Don't tease me bro!

Man, talk about a bummer. I was scouring the net last night, trying to find those Eddie figures and came across a site of a store in Cleburne, close to Dallas. And they were cheap too! So, I emailed them today to see if they still had them and wouldn't you know it - they didn't! Argh!! Why, don't these stores update their sites?! I have found so many online stores that haven't updated their inventory or still list things that they are out of stock - what the fuck is up with that? If you don't have it - don't list it - isn't that simple?

So now I'm back on the hunt for the figures again - I really don't like it when they discontinue items - if they are so popular, why stop making them? Hello? More money! Duh!

What really ticks me off are these guys who are selling these $15 and $30 figures for $100-$150! Now that is just whacked. Take advantage of people much?

I did put a bid in on the 18" Eddie figure from The Number Of The Beast album cover - it's pretty cool, but the ones I really want are the Somewhere In Time 7" and 18" and The Live After Death figure. Those seem to be the most valuable and rare and of course the most expensive. Fuckers.

On to a brighter side - only a few more days and I'll be the proud owner of a Ninja 250R! Oh man, I can just feel it now! I'm so excited! I'll be even more excited once the graphics wrap gets put on - that is going to be so kick ass! Just in case you missed it before (like anyone reads this shit), here is what the wrap is going to look like -

Is that not tight or what?! It's definitely going to be one of the sweetest looking rides around if not the sweetest!

I'm also going to put blue neon accents lights throughout the bike, within the chassis, so it will look like it's glowing at night and the blinker will look like Eddie's eye! So yeah, it's going to be tight!

Here we go, another week, another dollar...

It's the start of another week and its paycheck week! Woot! And you know what that means? A motorcycle! Yes, that's right, I'm getting a motorcycle when I get paid. Unfortunately, I haven't taken my riders class yet, so I won't be able to drive the damn thing home, but I will take my class next weekend and get my license asap! So needless to say, I'm extremely excited, even though there are so many depressing things on my mind.

I did get back in touch with my best friend from Junior High and High School - Benjie Butler. He has always been an inspiration to me, because he followed his heart and did whatever the fuck he wanted, no matter what his parents or anyone else said. Of course, he did have some very supportive parents, unlike me, so it was probably easier for him to have the confidence to follow his dreams. My mom constantly crushed my dreams, calling them stupid or unrealistic, so I didn't grow up with a great sense of self-worth or self-confidence, which is why I spent so many years drowning myself in drugs and bad relationships that only increased my self-loathing.

Even today, it's the same with her. Just about everything I want to do is shot down with some negative response or lecture about how wrong it is or why I shouldn't do it. Getting the motorcycle is a prime example. She won't even talk to me about it. She doesn't even want to hear about it. It's a shame we can't pick our parents. It's a shame when some parents can't get over themselves to support their children. I always swore that I would never be like her towards my own kids, sometimes I catch myself slipping, but for the most part I've done pretty good.

Alex @ Prom 2010

Well Alex had her junior prom tonight, little bugger didn't tell me until after the fact and her senior prom is next year but I still wish she would have told me ahead of time. With her living in California, it's hard to get involved as much as I would like too, but next year I will try to go out there for the senior prom and get her a limo and all the cool things I didn't get to do. Even better, rent her a Ferrari and let her drive it to prom - that would definitely get the other bitches climbing up the envy tree for a peak!

Here is a pic of her in her dress:

Isn't she gorgeous? I really wish I had been able to go to prom, as stupid as it is sometimes, high school is supposed to be the best years of a young person's life and well mine just plain sucked!
So I want to make her years in "hell school" way better.

She told me today that she's met a new guy - well not exactly, new - but they just started dating and while they didn't hookup prior to prom she thinks he is a winner and will hopefully be around for senior prom. I hope so for her sake.

We are in the final preparations for Alex to come out to Texas for a summer visit. Unfortunately Cole decided he wanted to stay home with his mom - why he only knows. but anyway, I'm glad Alex is coming out - I haven't seen her in so long - if we didn't have cell phones, computers and internet, we would be such strangers to each other by now. But we text everyday, all day, so I feel as close to her as when she lived here.

She will be staying a whole 2 months, splitting the time up with her mom's mom and me. Of course, I don't care for my ex-mother-in-law, but hey - who does?! Alex told me that her grandmother is going to drive Alex back to California, so she can visit her daughter - my ex-wife - so i kinda feel sorry for Alex to have to deal with her all that way. Eesh! I couldn't do it - even when she was my mother-in-law, I couldn't do it.

Alex and I are already planning to go to the Iron Maiden show June 9. It will be our first concert together and to be able to share one of my all time favorite bands with her and her actually wanting to go - is just an awesome feeling. Unfortunately tickets are hella-expensive, like $250 for center stage and $300 and up for VIP!! I figure what the hell and I'm going to get the VIP tickets, though we won't be as close to the stage as I would like, we won't have to deal with the moshpit or drunk idiots. They always ruin a show.

The only crappy part about Alex coming out is that I will be working. Though I'm thrilled I got a job, it will suck that she will be at home alone most of the day with only the animals and PS3 to keep her company. But she says she will be okay, so I will trust her on that.

The Iron Maiden Ninja

After 20 some odd years of waiting and waiting and hoping and wishing and praying and trying - I finally, finally get to buy a motorcycle!! I've wanted one ever since I could remember, but something always got in the way. Not anymore, brothers and sisters, the time has finally come! But as they say, good things come to those who wait - right? Riiiight. Now since I've never really ridden a motorcycle before, I'm going to be starting out small with a 2010 Ninja 250R. It will be blue and will have the raddest graphics ever on it! Thankfully, I have a good friend who has a print shop that does vinyl vehicle wraps - so I've been up all night designing those graphics for the wrap. Now I didn't exactly "design" the images, since they are of Eddie from the Iron Maiden album covers, I simply just chose from the numerous images I have of Eddie that I got from this awesome website: Iron Maiden Wallpapers. They have the most extensive and exclusive collection of Iron Maiden imagery I've ever seen! And being an a devout Maiden fan for over 20 years, I've seen my fair share.

So anyway, this is what I came up with:
Isn't it beautiful?! This bike is going to be the sickest thing around town! I can't freaking wait!! I can't stop staring at it, it's so gorgeous! It's going to be really cool to wear my Iron Maiden Vans while riding this gorgeous machine.

Now the rear will be modded with the hidden fender aftermarket parts, and the mirrors will be blue LEDs. I will have the wheels painted to match the body color as well. It's hard to believe that this bike brand new is only $4,000! It looks a lot more expensive - Kawasaki really knows how to deliver the goods for very little coin.

I should have the bike in a month or two - hopefully not two :) but I will be sure to post the pics of the final wrap when it's done.